learning that there is no hurry, fuss or worry

Step 1. Stop
Step 2. Learn
Step 3. Do
Step 4. Grow

— 1 week ago

I cannot keep comparing myself to successful Asian-American actresses who are making moves and getting it done. I cannot rack my brain about how “that could have been me,” when, if it could have been, it would have been. Although we were up for the same roles; got some roles, denied other roles, they persisted. They had what I lacked: passion.

I love performing. I love the arts. But I do not have enough passion and desire to devote my entire life to pursuing it.

I realized at 20 years old that if it wasn’t going to come easy to me, I didn’t want it. Performing was never something that was hard for me. It never really dawned on me that I’d really have to try. I was blessed with one great audition and one great show. After that was the struggle.

I was 19 years old, in New York, with a show on my resume contrasting the age and “type” I was hoping to portray. Myself. My true age. My resume read “30 years old and specific”. It was difficult, it was trying, it was draining and I just wasn’t really into it. Any of it. 

But I still can’t help but miss it. Or have physical symptoms of envy when I see that a certain former competitor now has a verified Twitter account and has 83,000 followers on Instagram and is on one of the hottest shows on Netflix. I can’t help but wish that was me. But it isn’t me. She is not me. I am not her. I lack what she has. Whether it is talent, passion, desire, strength. Whatever it is, I have to move on. 

— 2 weeks ago
je t’adore 

je t’adore 

— 4 weeks ago
Cascais, Portugal

Cascais, Portugal

— 1 month ago
St. Maarten

St. Maarten

— 1 month ago

sometimes a girl just wants to vent.
she doesn’t want advice.
she doesn’t want a fix-all.
she doesn’t want to be told how to feel or how to act.
she just wants to fucking vent

— 1 month ago
Luhv my mama bear

Luhv my mama bear

— 1 month ago
Channing Tat-YUM

Channing Tat-YUM

— 1 month ago